Like Echo's previous post on the Top 10 Cars That'll Get You Laid, we've put together a similar post. This time, we're looking at gadgets and items to help you get her to tend the ol' Yule Log. Trim the tree. Lick the candy cane. Come down the chimney. Unwrap the box. Enjoy the Christmas ham. Find some room at the inn.

Good? Keep going? Ok.

Bring myrrh to the wise man. Shovel the driveway. Give the stocking a rocking. For the Jews among us: grab the Menorah candle. And here, without further ado, are the top ten items that will surely help you get laid this holiday season.

Aren't they adorable? And historically accurate?

"Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes."
Mickey Mouse

Just so we're all clear on how this war of words is shaping up.

I think it will also help those that are visual learners.

The square root of creepy...

I haven't been so great with keeping my equipment up to date.
Truth be told, I've been using the same equipment all my life. Maybe that's why I found this public access show feature so useful.

The topic discussed is an important one.
So important, I suggest every male make it a point to talk to the person they love (or want to love) about the proper way to care for mouse balls.

It's a delicate subject sure. One that should be taken seriously.
Luckily these 2 helpful women understand, "a customers without properly working balls, is an unhappy customer."

But enough from me, let them explain.

Women Take Mouse Balls Very Seriously - Watch more Funny Videos

via Break

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" *** (out of four): Heartbreak, a love triangle, werewolves, and a trip to old-world vampire royalty. Not a bad time at the movies. Especially if you're a 14 year-old girl.

I suspect I was the only one in the screening of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" (the second in the series) who hadn't seen "Twilight" or read a book in the series. Still, I had a pretty good idea of the arc for books one and two, and this entry seems to be the one to see: heartbreak, a love triangle, werewolves, and a trip to old-world vampire royalty. Not a bad time at the movies.

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

"Planet 51" ** (out of four): Although this animated film turns the stereotypical alien invasion scenario on its head, the tale itself is old hat.

An alien invader's space ship touches down on the lawn of a home in a peaceful suburban neighborhood. Sound like the premise for a schlock 50s Sci Fi movie? Well, there's a twist: the alien is one of us, and the suburban neighborhood is on a planet that is decidedly not Earth.

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

A SFW optical illusion? Or just another Similak child?

No word if she was shopping for some support.

Oh People of Walmart, how you make me cringe.

Phil and Lee Edmonds are calling turkeys in style. No word on how successful they were.

How are you going to deal with the turkey this year? These links may help. Or not.

Manly Ways to Prepare Turkey.

And one more: Turbaconducken.

What beer should you serve with turkey?

How to deal with Thanksgiving Leftovers.

You know how truly awesome you are. Now proclaim it to the world!

Go forth and make yourself Mighty!

Report back on your favorite name.

That is all.

From The Sports/Band Geek Desk...

Last weekend Stanford murdered the mighty USC Trojans 55-21. It was funny.

At halftime, the band got a little squirrelly. The announcer they had in the booth completely went off book. He went rouge. This chap grabbed the mike and killed the Girls Gone Wild dirtbag Joe Francis. Said the young man:

With that said, USC can't take all of the credit for the successes of its students. After all, it takes a special kind of man to be wanted for sexual harassment, drug trafficking, tax evasion, prostitution, child abuse and disruptive flatulence. But that's just the kind of captain of industry Joe Francis is.

That may be a little grammatically weird, but it is amusing. The kid has some balls. USC fans did not take kindly to their alum getting called out. Boos descended. Joe is their guy. How dare you.